A Will of Fire
by UrbanChameleon
Summary: Sakura managed to convince Itachi to return to Konoha. However, she has no idea what she actually signed up for, or how many enemies she's made. Forces from without and within turn their eyes to Konoha. There will be hell to pay. Sequel to "A World of Pain".
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Despite the chill in the air, Konoha's streets are bustling with people this evening. I wrap myself in my heavy sweater, wondering where Naruto is. He invited me to go out with him to Ichiraku's for ramen. I needed a distraction, a few hours of getting away from everything and recharge my batteries before the new semester starts. I'm six months away from becoming a full-fledged medic-nin.

"Sakura-chan!"

I look up and see Naruto making his way through the torrent of people, waving at me. Leaves fall from the trees as a breeze blows through their branches, sending down a flurry of red and yellow. Dressed in orange, Naruto fits right in that picture. When he stops, he's panting. I smile.

"Forgot your wallet home again?"

He looks embarrassed, but laughs. "Something like that. You know me, _dattebayo!"_

That, I do. "Happy birthday, Naruto," I say, handing him a small, wrapped box.

A welcoming warmth envelops us as we enter Ichiraku's and I'm glad to finally be rid of the cumbersome weight of my autumn cardigan. As we wait for our order, I listen to Naruto tell me about everything he's been up to nowadays. It's been almost two weeks since we've seen each other. We've both been busy with our exploits – him, training and me, studying.

"Kakashi-sensei is on a mission with Gai-sensei," he tells me, by means of justifying our sensei's absence. However, I suspect Kakashi may have had an ulterior motive. He's been avoiding me since I returned to Konoha.

There's a pause in our conversation. Naruto looks at me, hesitating, then asks, in a small voice: "How's Itachi?"

My stomach twists in a knot. I don't know. Tsunade hasn't allowed me to see Itachi a second time. It's been a month since I saw him in prison, a month since I gave her my report on what happened in the three weeks I was gone from Konoha. Everytime I asked her about it or Itachi, Tsunade brushed me off.

I've been accumulating frustration over it to the point where sometimes I feel like bursting. It doesn't matter how hard I try to push things from my mind and swallow the pain when I fail to do that. My fists clench just thinking about it now. Does Tsunade really care so little? Did she ask me to write that report just to shut me up?

I realize Naruto looks worried as he takes in my reaction. Of all my friends, Naruto is the only one who asks me how Itachi is, every time he sees me. It means a lot more to me than I let show. Everyone else just wants to know _why_ Itachi is in Konoha and what I had to do with that.

I shake my head, the same thing I did last time Naruto asked. I can't put it in words. I don't want to make a scene. I keep my emotions bottled up, even knowing it will do me more harm than good. Today is Naruto's birthday – I will not ruin it for him, _shannarou_!

The evening wears on. We talk about silly things, petty things, and I'm having fun. I've missed that. Naruto always knows how to take your mind off things and put you in a good mood. I almost can't believe it when I look at the clock and see it's almost midnight.

"I'm sorry, Naruto," I say, "I should get going. My parents are going to throw a fit." They still don't trust me after the stunt I pulled. I can almost hear my mother wail about my "leaving like that!". Not to mention coming back with a wanted criminal in tow.

"I'll take you home, Sakura-chan," Naruto offers as we step out of Ichiraku's. I huddle in my sweater, noting the mist forming as I breathe out. It's gotten considerably colder and the streets have gone quiet.

"It's alright," I say. "I don't live that far from here."

"I know, _dattebayo,_ but I was hoping…" he trails off, blushing.

I giggle and slap his shoulder. "Naruto, you _baka_."

It's getting old, this little game of hours, yet no less amusing. I know Naruto doesn't have a crush on me anymore, but we both pretend he still does. It's a thing we do, for old times' sake. I suppose the two of us just want to hold on to whatever is left of our childhood. Of the time Sasuke was around.

"Well, _ja ne!"_ Naruto says with a grin, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Happy birthday again, Naruto," I say, smiling. I watch him walk down the street. Right before he turns a corner, he looks back and waves. I wave back and in a moment, he's gone.

I turn on my heels and start walking in the opposite direction. The cold is getting through my clothes, so I pick up the pace to keep warm. The sky is full of stars, sprinkled around a sliver of the pale moon. It's a beautiful night for a lonely walk, I think. I wish Itachi were here, though. He can't see these stars from his cell, nor the streets dappled with crimson and crysanthemum yellow.

My pace slows until I stop in the middle of the street, looking up. My eyes fill with tears as I stand there, looking up, until the sky is blurred and all I see are a million lights flickering and dying. I cover my mouth to stifle a sob. It's so quiet at this hour, it would surely produce an echo.

I have gotten used to going through the whole day like I don't have a care in the world, only to cry myself to sleep every night. It's not that Itachi is imprisoned, it's that I've done everything I could to change that and he's still there. I've come to loathe feeling powerless. My whole life I've been haunted by it.

A sudden chill goes through me. My muscles tense, my senses flare. Danger, my instinct tells me. I blink away the tears and take a look around. The street is well lit and I'm all alone – or so it seems. Over the years, I've learned that a shinobi's instinct is often his first line of defense, that gut feelings should always be minded. Right now, my gut feeling is telling me I'm being watched.

 _Be careful out there,_ Itachi told me.

I fretted over his words for a while after he said them to me, but up until this moment, I've had no reason to perceive them as an actual warning. Who would be watching me and why? I'm aware it must have something to do with Itachi, but I haven't seen him in a month.

I decide to play dumb, though looking around earlier might not help my cause. I take one step, then another. As I walk, I pace my breathing. No one would dare attack me on the streets, I say to myself. Not even at this hour.

But there's a thorn in my heart as I walk home.

Never before have I felt unsafe on the streets of Konoha.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

The fact that I got home safely last night doesn't mean it will happen again. Am I being pessimistic or realistic? I'm not sure there's much of a difference.

I'm sitting in my usual spot by the window, thinking about last night while we wait for the second class of the day to begin. Ino is sitting beside me, finishing overdue homework because her team has been undertaking a lot of missions lately - unlike Team 7, or what's left of it.

"What's our next class?" she asks me without raising her eyes from her papers.

"Specialty orientation," I say. It's a new one, meant to help us decide what sort of medic-nin we want to become. I check the schedule to make sure I'm right, and I am. The professor's name catches my eye and I show it to Ino. "Look. Our professor's a Nara. Do you know her?"

"Sure, just because Shikamaru is my teammate means I know every member of his family."

Ino can be testy when she's tired. Well, testier than usual. I don't mind her. My mind runs back to last night's adventure, as I like to call it. I keep replaying those moments, trying to figure out if I've overlooked something. Nothing comes to mind. Unfortunately, I'm interrupted by the professor walking in before I can start overdoing it again.

Our professor is younger than I imagined. Much younger. I elbow Ino, who looks up for a moment, then glances at me. The expression on her face reflects my surprise. If I were to give Akane Nara an age, it would be around twenty. I can't help but wonder if she uses the same jutsu as Tsunade to make herself look younger.

"Good afternoon, class," our new professor says and something in her voice strikes me as familiar, but I can't put my finger on it. "My name is Nara Akane and we'll be working together this semester to help you decide on the specialty you wish to follow as medic-nin."

I only half-listen to what she says next, because I'm trying to figure out where I've seen her before. But no matter how hard I try to remember, there's nothing. She's pretty enough to stand out, I would have rembered her face. It's just her voice – I have the feeling I've heard it somewhere before.

"… and of course, there's the combat medic-nin specialty. It's considered the most dangerous line of work for a medic-nin, and the most demanding, since the said medic-nin would also have to hone their combat skills to perfection. Combat medic-nin are more or less of an exception to the four laws which govern our field, which are…?" she trails off, nodding towards Ino when she raises her hand to give the answer.

"No medic-nin shall ever stop medical treatment until the lives of their team members have come to an end. No medic-nin shall ever stand on the frontlines. No medic-nin shall ever die until they are the last of their platoon. Only those medic-nin who have mastered the Strength of a Hundred Jutsu of the ninja art Creation Rebirth are permitted to discard the above-mentioned laws."

We all know the rules. They are written above our blackboard and on a plaque that stands at the entrance of this school. They were drilled into our heads in the first year of med school.

"But these laws exist for a reason," one of my classmates says. "The only person I know who has mastered the Creation Rebirth ninja art is Tsunade-sama. How can combat medic-nin discard the rules when they clearly state only those like Tsunade-sama may do so?"

"The only laws they discard are the second and, implicitly, the fourth. The explanation is that this particular specialty came to be after Tsunade-sama formulated the laws. In a perfect world, the laws would be abided regardless. However, in this world, combat medic-nin are a necessity, rather than a whim. The ANBU, for example, only recruit combat medic-nin. Their line of work requires members who have not only mastered the healing arts, but also excel in combat. Combat medic-nin do not actively seek danger, but will join their teammates in battle if need be."

My mind comes to a screeching halt when she mentions the ANBU. It makes sense all of the sudden. I take another look at our professor. She's tall enough, her hair is long enough and the same shade of black, though it's down today and the tattoo on the back of her neck would not be visible. I elbow Ino again and she gives me an irritated look.

"Draw me the Nara clan symbol," I whisper. Ino looks nonplussed, but she doesn't wait for me to ask a second time before doing a quick sketch. It's rather lopsided, but looking at it, I'm pretty sure this is what I saw on the back of that ANBU's neck, the day I went to visit Itachi.

"Haruno-san."

I realize our professor has been watching us. She's looking at me, a strange smile playing on her lips. If anything, her saying my name only adds to my certainty. Akane Nara is the ANBU who visisted Itachi, his liaison from the time he was a member of the Akatsuki, his former teammate.

"Is there anything you would like to add?" she asks.

"No," I say. I'm tingling with excitement over my discovery, so I don't even feel embarrassment over being caught while not paying attention. "Please excuse me."

I wonder how many times she has visited Itachi since then. I'm torn between asking her how he is after class and keeping my mouth shut just in case I'm wrong. The last thing I want to do is make a fool of myself, even though I'm positive she's the one. It would be best to wait. To ask Tsunade-shishou for permission to see Itachi again.

In the end, my brain takes over my heart and I refrain from following her when she leaves.

"What was that all about?" Ino asks me.

I shake my head. "Nothing. Sorry."

Ino gives me that look again. The look most people around me have when I do something weird nowadays. They all seem to think I haven't returned with my mental faculties intact. I've grown used to ignoring these looks and focusing my attention on what's important.

Tonight I'm going to get Tsunade's permission to see Itachi again. I'm not going to back down this time.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Tsunade looks up at me over her papers and frowns. This would be my second visit to her office this week, the eighth visit of this month. Each time, I came with the same request: let me see Itachi. I expect her to launch into another tirade about how bad of an influence he's had over me, how I have no business seeing him ever again. More than that, I expect her to get angry when I seem, once more, unwilling to follow her advice.

Tsunade sets her papers down with a sigh and takes off her glasses. She and I both know the drill by now. I'm ready.

"Sit," she tells me. It gives me pause. She has never asked me to sit before, not during these visits. "I've read your report, half a hundred times since you gave it to me. The interrogators' reports on Itachi all say the same. And then there are… other circumstances that I must take into consideration."

What is she saying? Has she come to believe we're telling the truth? It seems so, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I keep quiet, waiting for her to go on. Her voice holds a dark undercurrent as she speaks.

"Prompted by your allegations, I had no choice but to review all the case files regarding what happened the night Itachi massacred his clan. I found nothing."

My heart sinks. Of course you didn't find anything, I want to tell her. Who would have been stupid enough to leave a paper trail after giving such an order? Unfortunately, that means Tsunade will have to rely on the word of a criminal. And mine, though I'm not sure it weighs all that much anymore.

"However, given that the man Itachi accused of giving the order has left the village, I couldn't help but wonder." Danzo! She's talking about Danzo, whom Itachi and that ANBU were discussing when I went to visit. "There is also the matter of a certain testimony recently brought to my attention, along with evidence that Itachi has been providing our village with intel from within the Akatsuki."

My heart gives a jolt in anticipation, though I'm trying not to look hopeful. Will all this be enough to give Itachi the benefit of the doubt?

"In light of these facts, I'm willing to release Itachi Uchiha for the time being." I open my mouth, but she holds up a hand to stop me. "I don't mean to say he's been proven innocent. He will be subjected to 24-hour surveillance and the investigation will continue."

That's more than reasonable, I think, while my inner self jumps around with joy, screaming ' _justice will prevail, shannarou!"_. Once outside, it will be much easier for Itachi to build a stronger case in his defense.

"Tsunade-shishou," I say, trying to keep myself grounded, "there's also the matter of Itachi having that illness. I mentioned in my report that I started treatment and I would like your permission to continue treating him."

"Granted," she says. "Itachi will be released tomorrow afternoon. I've given him use of a small apartment for the time being. Needless to say, I think, that it's been fully equipped with cameras and microphones by our tech teams."

She gives me a look over her glasses and I blush as I grasp its meaning.

"It's nothing like that," I say, in my defense, fully aware that my tomato-red face is saying the contrary.

"Dismissed," Tsunade says with a knowing smile.

I realize it doesn't matter how many times I'm going to say nothing happened because nothing actually did happen. People are still going to believe what they want. I stand up and leave, unable to fight the feeling of embarrassment. However, I realize there's also a twinge of regret. Did I want something to happen?

I start overthinking again as I head home. It's one of the things I'm very good at and doing it is effortless. All I have to do is let my mind wander and I find myself worrying over an idea like a dog gnawing at a bone.

The days are getting shorter and it's already dark outside, despite the early hour. The park is deserted. A cold wind blows and I shiver in my clothes. I didn't take my jacket off in the Hokage's office and I'm suffering the consequences. I wrap my arms around myself as I walk over a bridge. The moon comes out of the clouds, bathing everything in silvery light.

I look up and freeze. A figure is standing at the end of the bridge, where there was no one before. A black, laquered mask conceals their face. My body shifts into a defensive position instinctively. I've never seen a mask like this among the ANBU. I back away, but when I glance over my shoulder to find an escape route, I see another silhouette at the other end of the bridge. I'm trapped.

I place a hand on the railing, ready to jump over it, but my legs don't even get to move before the figure in front of me springs forward. Moonlight glints off the edge of a blade. I can't move fast enough to avoid it and I don't have time to parry with a kunai. My back is just as exposed. I manage to turn sideways in an attempt to make myself a smaller target. The blade is coming down.

" _Kagezukami no Jutsu!"_

A shadow springs forward, catches my attacker by the legs and swipes him from the ground. It drags him through the air and slams him into the pavement with such force it cracks. I turn my head and see Itachi's ANBU standing on the railing across from me, her hands already forming another series of seals as the second figure moves to attack. Dragon. Tiger. Rat.

" _Kage-Kubishibari no Jutsu!"_

A hand-shaped shadow wraps itself around the target and settles around his neck like a snake ready to bite into his arteries. I hear a chirp to my left, see a flash of blue light as the ANBU rushes forward.

" _Raikiri!"_

There's a strangled scream as the jutsu pierces the second attacker's chest. The shock makes his body convulse and the force of it cracks his mask. It breaks and falls off as the ANBU pulls her arm back, revealing the face of a man I don't know.

I hear rapid footsteps coming from the left and turn to see the first attacker back on his feet, running towards me. The ANBU turns around, throwing a handful of kunai to delay him. I manage to pull out a kunai from my pouch, at long last, bracing myself for the impact. The ANBU tackles him before he has a chance to get near me, directing her knee into his abdomen. She must have put chakra into it, because he's thrown back through the air before he lands on the ground. She walks to him as he's struggling to get up and her katana drops, piercing his neck. A gush of blood comes out, pulsing. She severed an artery.

It's over.

I lean against the railing, feeling limp. What the hell just happened? My eyes find the horrified expression of the stranger pierced by the Raikiri and I fight a wave of nausea. One thing is clear: they were after me. But why?

"Nara-san," I say. It's safe to assume now that she is, indeed a Nara, if only by the techniques she used. The ANBU wipes the blood off her katana with the attacker's cloak, sheathes it and looks up. "Who are these men?"

"Members of the ANBU Root, acting under Danzo's orders," she says, walking up to me.

It makes no difference Danzo is not in Konoha, I gather. He can pursue his interests from afar, through his minions.

"Why were they after me?"

"My guess is Danzo wanted to strike at Itachi through you – the price of his breaking the silence over the Uchiha massacre," she says. "Itachi thought this might happen, so he asked me to keep an eye on you."

It's not a lucky coincidence that she was here, then. I smile at the thought that Itachi worked to find a way to keep me safe even in his absence. My joy is brief, though, overshadowed by a sensible deduction: if the Root struck once, they will strike again.

"Tsunade-shishou should be informed about this," I say. "She'll take measures."

The ANBU shakes her head. "Officially, the Root organization was disbanded years ago by Sandaime-sama. They have been operating in the shadows since then. There is no data whatsoever on the Root."

"So they can't be stopped? Not even if Danzo is killed?"

"We have no information regarding Danzo's whereabouts."

We're fighting shadows. The futility of it strikes a nerve. "There has to be _something_ we could do." I catch glimpse of her gray eyes through the slits in her mask. For the first time, I realize the mask depicts a weasel.

"For now, we wait," she says.

 **Sorry for the long wait! I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Have a great weekend :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

The moment he steps out through the gates, Itachi sees me standing there, under a red umbrella. His eyes linger on me for only a moment before fleeting back to the guard, who removes his shackles. They exchange a few words and two ANBU step forward. Itachi rubs his wrists and turns around. I see the effect of this month over his body and I resent it. He's lost more than a few pounds. What I resent more are the ANBU trailing after him as he steps gingerly towards me.

"Hi," I say, forcing myself to smile. I am overjoyed to see him, but I didn't think it would be quite like this. To want to hold him and hold back. To want to say more and stop myself, for fear of what might slip.

"Thank you for coming," he says. There is a glint in his dark eyes as he looks at me. I take it I'm not the only one holding back.

"Well then, shall we get moving? It's damn cold and damp," one of the ANBU, a woman, says. Behind her is a large dog with a patch over one of his eyes. She's an Inuzuka, no doubt.

She takes the lead and the rest of us follow her without a word of complaint. The second ANBU forms the rear, as quiet as his partner is loud. As we move through the village to our destination, people look and point at Itachi. I shoot back unforgiving looks at them, but Itachi pretends not to notice anything going on around us.

It seems like a long time until we stop. We have reached a small apartment building over the street from the Hokage's office building. The Inuzuka ANBU leads us inside and up the stairs to the last floor.

"This is it, Uchiha. Home sweet home," she says, pushing open the door.

One by one, we step inside, dripping water in the hallway. It's a small, two bedroom apartment. I look around for the cameras and see none, but it's enough for me to know they're there. I frown at the walls as I stand beside Itachi, who is waiting for the quiet ANBU to remove his shoes and join us. I don't feel the presence behind me until she speaks and her voice rings familiar again. She's the last person I expected to see here.

"I trust you've been informed about the conditions of your release, Uchiha," a third ANBU says as she steps out of the shadows in the living room.

Itachi's face remains impassive as he faces his former ANBU teammate, Akane. "Yes," he says, his tone both cold and deferential.

"I'm the one in charge of the supervising team. Play by the rules and I'll leave you be. Give me a hard time and I'll fly you right back where you came from. Is that clear?"

Her words and tone come as a surprise to me, until I realize this must be an act. I have no other explanation. Still, I don't understand why she's in charge. Tsunade-shishou must know she is Itachi's friend. Unless she's not here to supervise him, but to keep him safe. The thought hits me like a bucket of cold water.

Itachi nods.

"Whenever you leave the premises, you'll be followed," she continues, throwing him a set of keys. "You'll have little privacy, regardless of whether you stay inside or go out, but work with us instead of against us and maybe you'll be rid of us someday. Also, you'll be given a weekly allowance to cover your expenses. Dinner's on Hokage-sama tonight," the Nara ANBU says, in a lighter tone.

"Thank you for your patience," Itachi says, bowing formally to the three ANBU.

"Don't blow it, Uchiha," the Inuzuka woman says over her shoulder as the three of them file out of the apartment.

It feels like forever until the door shuts behind them and I continue to stand in the middle of the hallway, not knowing what to do next. I can't even talk to Itachi, knowing someone will be listening to everything. This is not how I pictured this.

"Sakura."

I turn around and find myself staring into the Sharingan. I feel Itachi's chakra weaving around me, reshaping reality and I know he's put me in a genjutsu. Here, at least, we'll be safe from prying eyes. I allow myself to break into a smile.

"I'm sorry I couldn't visit you again," I say. "I tried countless times…"

"I know." He steps towards me. "I heard about last night. Are you alright?"

"Your friend made sure of that. Did you know she also happens to be one of my teachers? She's got her fingers in every pie, it seems."

Itachi chuckles. It lifts my spirits to see him at ease, for once. "Akane has always been resourceful," he says.

But it's not really Akane Nara I want to talk about, not now. I've only realized what hell this month has been for me now that Itachi's here. It's like I've been blundering in the dark until now, hopelessly seeking the light. I've been frustrated, and worried, and afraid. All this has taken a much greater toll on me than I knew and it's dawning on me now, as my hands start to tremble, as my whole body seems to pick up this unseemly tremor. I want to stop, but before I can scrabble around for the bricks in my crumbling walls, the tears start falling.

One, two, three of them splash at my feet. My hand shoots up to my mouth to stop myself from sobbing, but my shoulders heave as I breathe.

You're losing it, Sakura.

No, not here, not now, not like this. I shut my eyes tight to stop the flow, but they seem to find their way through my eyelashes regardless. Two more drops join the ones on the ground, others on the way.

You're weak, weak, weak. Get a grip, _shannarou…_

My free hand curls into a fist and I push it against my stomach as the pain doubles me up. Death and pain are my enemies and as a medic-nin, I can keep them both at bay. But this pain is something different. They don't teach us how to fight it in med school. While some seem to be better equipped to deal with it, I am helpless in its clutches and the more I struggle against it, the faster it unravels me.

I feel a warm hand envelop my fist and an arm laces around my back, pulling me closer. The thought of Itachi seeing me like this blends shame into the treacherous, poisonous mixture of feelings swirling within me. His touch is my tipping point – I break apart. The floodgates are broken, it's all pouring out now.

"I know," he says. "It's alright. I've been there, too." His voice is coming from a million miles away, like starlight, but I cling to it with all the desperation of a drowning person. I almost don't register the words, it's his tone that resonates somewhere within me.

I feel us sinking to the ground and open my eyes for a moment. My knees have given in, but the ground is soft and blades of grass tickle my legs. The genjutsu has changed around us. A breeze cools my cheeks, stirring a cloud of red petals from the endless field around us. I feel Itachi's hand run through the hair at the back of my head, pressing my forehead against his shoulder. I keep sobbing without sound now, without tears.

"Let it bleed," he tells me. "Let it hurt."

I blink slowly, my eyelids heavy. His words reach me this time, but they make no sense. I've always believed that to be strong is to never feel pain. I am a shinobi. I should be strong, I should feel no such pain. At the very least, I should not let it overwhelm me so. Yet here I am, hearing one of the strongest shinobi I know tell me to do the opposite.

"Why?" I ask, my voice close to a whisper.

"In order for it to heal."

I pull away to look at him. My face must be a puffy, red mess, but it doesn't matter. A stray tear escapes my eye and I wipe it with the back of my hand. Is this where he draws his strength from, I wonder? Old wounds? My pain is nothing compared to his. He must have bled, he must have hurt a hundred times worse, torn apart between love and duty. He never stopped being a shinobi.

I stare at him in wonder, my mind still too addled to form any coherent sentences, when I realize it's starting to snow. I look up, momentarily distracted by the sudden change in weather, but there is a dark hole in the sky above us, growing larger as more and more fragments break and fall all around us. They settle in the grass and burn up, like ashes. Itachi's genjutsu is breaking apart.

The hole in the sky consumes the landscape like a flame eats up a piece of paper, until we're left in the dark. The floor is hard and my legs have grown numb. I feel Itachi rise, hear him make a few steps. One click and real light burns into my retina. I shield my eyes from it, giving myself time to adjust.

"I haven't used my Sharingan in a while," he says, sounding apologetic.

I get up, rubbing my legs to get the blood flowing again. "It's alright. People were probably starting to wonder what we were doing in the dark." I did not just say that, _shannarou._ My face is starting to turn that telltale shade of red, I can feel it all the way up to my ears.

Itachi smiles. "And now they're left to wonder what we were doing on the floor."

If I ever wondered just how red my face can get, I need only look in the mirror now to learn the answer. Then I remember the microphones and I realize I don't _want_ to know the answer. When did Itachi start cracking jokes? And that devious smile, that curl of his lips – I've never seen it before.

"Come on," he says. "Let's see what Hokage-sama left us for dinner."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"So… what's he like?"

I raise my eyes from a pharmacology book. Ino avoids my gaze and does her best to look preoccupied by the bone diagrams she's studying, but I know her better than this. Curiosity has gotten the best of her this time. For how long has she been fussing over this question in her head?

I shrug, like it's nothing. "He's an okay guy."

"Is he anything like…?"

Ino stops herself from saying his name and I appreciate it. Deep down, I still haven't begun to untangle the mess of my love for Sasuke. I'm reluctant to open that box of shards for fear I might cut myself.

"He'san Uchiha," I say, as if that explains everything. I realize I'm not being forthcoming with my answers and that she wants more from me than these vague, halfhearted affirmations. "But he's not like Sasuke," I concede. Itachi grew up learning to love Konoha, while Sasuke grew up learning to hate Itachi. Ino wouldn't know any of this.

"I see," she says, looking disappointed, but she doesn't push her luck. She twirls a crayon between her fingers and returns to her bones.

I close my eyes and lean back in the chair. The library is quiet at this time of day. Most people are outside, enjoying the very sun that pours through the window and warms my skin. This may well be the last warm day before winter comes. I hate to miss it, but I have to decide the best treatment for Itachi's affliction. After a month in prison, the progress he's made under my care has turned into regression.

My eyes skim over the pages, which I turn one after another. Pharmacology has never been one of my strong suits, truth be told. All these plants, so many combinations, so many effects, both beneficial and adverse… I'm at a loss. I close the book with a definite thud. I might have to ask for help on this one. Would Tsunade-sensei help? A patient is a patient, after all.

"I'm done here," I tell Ino, picking up the book and my bag. "I have to run some errands. I'll see you around?"

Ino nods in assent, too caught up in her own studies to even glance up. She's got a theoretical exam coming up and the stress is starting to get to her judging by the way she nibbles on the end of her pencil.

I walk away from the table and among shelves towards the Medicine section, where I must return my book. There is someone else there when I arrive and the long mane of dark hair looks familiar. Somehow I'm not surprised to run into Akane. I seem to be bumping into her a lot lately. We greet each other as student and teacher and not a look passes between us that would suggest anything more than that.

I put my pharmacology book back on the shelf and a thought crosses my mind. I turn to look at her. She's leafing through a volume as thick as my forearm, seemingly absorbed in it. I don't want to interrupt her, so I wait.

"Yes, Haruno-san?" she asks without lifting her eyes from the pages. There it is, that unnerving shinobi awareness.

"I… was wondering if you might help me out with something," I say. She's a full-fledged medic-nin. She's a Nara. Naras supposedly know a thing or two more about medicine than your standard medic-nin.

She throws me a guarded look. "What is this about?"

"Medicine."

"Shoot," she says.

I hesitate. That's enough to pique her interest. She puts her book down and we file out of the building into the glaring sun. It's always strange to see her in civilian clothes, with her hair down like this. She looks like a competely different person. Her manner, however, doesn't change. Even in civilian clothes, she's still ANBU.

"Have you decided what kind of medic-nin you want to become?" she asks. I'm not sure whether she's genuinely interested or trying to make small talk en route to… wherever it is we're going. By the way, where _are_ we going? It seems _I_ left the library with _her_ , not the other way around.

"Not really. A lot has been going on lately…"

"You shouldn't put your own future aside for anything in the world."

"I'm not. I've just been a bit distracted, that's all. I _have_ been thinking about it. I'd like to be a combat medic-nin, but I don't think I have what it takes, so I'll probably work in the hospital."

"If Tsunade-sama's apprentice doesn't have what it takes for this job, I don't know who does."

"My combat skills are lacking, regardless."

"Your combat skills can be trained to conform."

Reasoning the hell out of anything seems to be a Nara clan trait. There's just no arguing with her, because unlike the men, the Nara women are perseverant. I almost wave the white flag of defeat when we stop in front of a teashop.

"Is this place alright with you?" she asks.

"Sure," I say, and we step inside.

It's small, but empty. We sit at a table by the window and I watch the passers-by while she places the order.

"Now," Akane says as she sits down opposite of me. "What is it you wanted to talk about?"

I keep my voice down as I tell her about Itachi's illness and every step I took in treating it up to this point. She listens without interrupting me once, without making any remarks on the medical decisions I had to make. I honestly can't read her expression to ascertain whether or not she agrees, but by the time it's out of my system, I realize it's a relief to finally be able to consult with someone on this. I've been keeping things bottled up for so long, I've forgotten how to let them go.

When I finish, she thinks for a few moments and then says: "I'll mix something up for him and give you the recipe. How is he doing otherwise?"

"You're the head of the surveillance team. Shouldn't you know?" I ask, perhaps unnecesarily harsh. Even so, it doesn't seem to affect her. Does anything ever get under this woman's skin?

"I don't read his mind through those cameras."

I take a sip from my tea, which has been growing cool. "He's… like a tiger in a cage," I say. "He's not used to spending so much time in one place."

She remains quiet at that. Thoughtful. For a moment, she looks almost… sad. I'm so surprised to see through this chink in her armor that I set down my cup before I drop it. I want to ask her if she's alright, but she catches me staring and the steel is back under her skin in the blink of an eye.

"How did you know what really happened that night?" I ask.

She crosses her arms and leans back in her chair. I can tell by it that she's reluctant to talk about it. I can be perseverant, too, though.

"Trust only takes you so far. You went beyond that when you gave him copies of classified documents, like my personal file. You must have known the truth." I'm starting to sound angry, which I am. Whatever the reason, she had no right to give him those documents. She knows it and I know it.

"You defected with a stolen Bingo book," she points out. I'm caught off guard. I'd forgotten about that. She must have read the report I gave Tsunade-sensei if she knows. Bingo Books offer sensitive information about a village's targets. If one fell into the wrong hands, the outcome may even be war between nations.

"You haven't answered my question."

Akane measures me with her grey eyes for a long time and I can't help but wonder what battle wages within her. Why is it that every time you ask someone for the truth, they look at you as if you're asking for the moon?

"I was on patrol duty that night," she says. "When something didn't seem quite right at the Uchiha compound, I went to investigate. I was the one who called it in."

"Sasuke-kun?" His name is out of my mouth before I can stop it.

"I found him unconscious, on the street outside his house."

The image of a little dark-haired boy lying on the cold pavement made my heart cringe painfully.

"I picked up on the attacker's trail and followed him. I didn't realize it was Itachi until we'd almost reached the village gate. I tried to stop him, to make him explain what I'd just seen. In the end, he showed me. Everything."

It's like a great darkness hangs from that final word. I try to wrap my mind around it, but it's too horrible to contemplate. Itachi shared his pain with Akane all those years ago. This simple truth goes a long way in reflecting just how close they were back then. A seed of doubt has been planted within my heart. I can't help it. I almost wonder why I didn't see it sooner. Bitterness fills my mouth as I drink the last of my tea. I've had enough truth for one day.

"Thank you, Akane-san," I say.

Then I pick up my things, leave the money on the table and leave.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello! I apologize for the... delay. I haven't forgotten this story, my muse is just whimsical. But she came with this chapter and this song: SVRCINA - Meet Me On The Battlefield. Thank you for your kind words of encouragement!**

 **Chapter 6**

I can smell something cooking the moment I take the final steps to Itachi's apartment. His is the only one on this floor, so it can only be coming from his kitchen. The thought of him cooking makes me smile, for some reason. I remember the one time I tasted something made by him and it seems like ages ago since that soup I ate with such resentment.

I knock on the door and he opens a few moments later, fully armored with an apron. I can't contain a giggle at the sight. A smile plays in one corner of his mouth as he welcomes me inside. It's warm and the aromas floating in the air are now strong enough to make my stomach beg. I hand him the hefty bag I've carried through town half the day. He gives me a curious look.

"Books," I say. "I figured you'd be bored. I didn't know what you'd like to read so I went on a whim."

"Thank you. Hokage- _sama_ has been kind enough to provide me with some basics in the kitchen, so I've kept myself busy today, trying to make do."

"So I can smell!"

We make light, friendly conversation, neither of us forgetting that others partake to our exchanges as we speak. There are steaming pots on the stove and I'm surprised how at ease Itachi seems in the kitchen. And boy, has he been hard at work! His skill puts mine to shame. I can't even get a boiled egg right. As I marvel at the feast, he sifts through the books I brought.

"There's a bit of everything," I say. "I'm sorry I'm so late. I've had a long day."

"You're right on time. Dinner should be ready soon."

I tuck a stray pink lock behind my ear and smile. It fades as I notice the dark circles under his eyes. Is it the illness? The worries? Do his thoughts keep him up at night as mine do? Fortunately, he is too absorbed in a philosophy volume to notice my brows furrowing in concern. I straighten out my face. I will not add to his woes by being sad company.

He closes the book and looks up at me. His eyes are dark, the sharingan inactive. I'm glad to see he at least saves his strength.

"This one I like best," he says. "And the one about medical curiosities."

I shrug, pleased. "I thought I'd give you a little part of my world."

"How is school?"

I pause to measure my words carefully. "Difficult, as befits the final year. I'm also a bit behind, but I can catch up quickly enough. My teachers have been indulgent, luckily for me. I've missed some exams, but I can take them. I just have to bury myself in books this month."

His eyes drift to the clock. "Won't your parents be worried if you stay out so late?"

"Worrying is a parental prerequisite, I believe. I did tell them I'd come back late, so…"

My voice drifts off. Truth be told, I argued with my mother this morning, as we do so often nowadays. She doesn't want me 'anywhere near that S-ranked criminal'. At some point she even attempted to break an imaginary _genjutsu_ she presumed Itachi had placed on me. I remember storming out and slamming the door at that. I feel insulted that she thinks me so weak, _shannarou_.

"Dinner is ready."

Here I am, mother, having a nice, quiet dinner with an S-ranked criminal. Enjoying it as a luxury I don't have at home anymore. I relish every bite and by the time I'm done I've rounded up like a stuffed frog. I regret nothing. The meal was simple, but Itachi put effort into it and it showed in the taste of it all. Before I give myself a chance to get sleepy from overindulging, I clear the table and wash the dishes.

When I turn around I meet the crimson of Itachi's sharingan and the air shifts around me. _Genjutsu._ Nothing has changed, and yet everything feels different. We're safe from prying eyes and ears, to begin with. My back hits the counter as he walks up to me. Safe though I may feel, Itachi still radiates a certain darkness that sometimes takes me by surprise. He stops before me, so close I can feel his warmth. His fingers tuck the stubborn lock behind my ear and set my heart aflutter.

He has held me before. However, there is something more behind his touch this time. I close my eyes. My lashes brush against my cheek. I'm giving in. His hand slithers through my hair to the back of my head and pulls me in. His neck feels hot against my forehead. Maybe I gave in a long time ago.

"This isn't real," I whisper.

"It's as real as I can make it."

I pull away and look up at him. There is a longing inside me like a dull pain in my chest, but I'm too much of a coward to take what would cure it. I'm afraid and of what? Rejection. I know far too well what one-sided love feels like and I tell myself I haven't fallen for Itachi. I want to save myself the pain. It bears Sasuke's face and Sasuke's voice. I could not bear for Itachi to cause me the same suffering. My heart would surely break.

His thumb brushes against my cheek, catching a tear. Why is it that whenever he is close to me I unravel so? I can't do this. I want to make the release seal, but my hands are trembling too badly, so I grip the edge of the counter until I lose feeling in my fingers instead.

"Sakura." His voice brings me back from the dark recesses of my mind, where I dance with old demons. "What are you afraid of?" he asks.

Taking the cue from my hands, my lips begin to tremble too. "This isn't real," I whisper again, my voice breaking over the last word. Itachi pauses. What must he think of me? I'm a slip of a woman who occasionally packs a hell of a punch, but my mind is weak, my heart is weak. He can see it, for sure. How could someone like him ever harbor any feelings for me beyond friendly affection? I'm broken.

My mouth opens, but the words die in my throat when his lips suddenly press against mine. His arms fall around my waist, pulling me against him and deeper into his kiss. A swarm of butterflies take flight in my stomach. My muscles relax all at once. My mind comes to a halt. Another tear falls. I rise on the balls of my feet and my hands let go of the counter to slither up his chest and over his shoulders, where they settle. It may not be real, but it feels real. And it sure as hell feels good, _shannarou._

His hands drop from my waist to the back of my thighs and he pulls me up. My legs lock around him instinctively. My heart is frantic, like a moth around a flame. Let me get burned, I don't care. I am not afraid anymore. I don't know when he carries me to the bedroom, I only feel when he lays me down gently on the bed. His ponytail hangs over his shoulder, the tip of it brushing against the skin on my neck. We look at each other for a moment that seems still in time and then it's me who's kissing Itachi and pulling him closer.

There is no past, there is no future. There is only now and now his hands slip under my shirt and mine under his and the pain I expected never comes. Our hearts beat together like a beautiful song on repeat. I open my eyes and above us the ceiling has vanished, replaced by a sky full of stars. His kisses leave a trail of fire from my neck down to my navel and come back up to set my lips on fire as well. This _genjutsu_ – I want it to never end.

I close my eyes as I rest in his arms, our bodies bathed in starlight. When I open them again, I'm still in his arms, but we are both fully clothed and the ceiling is in place. I turn on my side and bury my face in his neck. There is a bittersweet feeling in my heart. It had to end. I know. But what happened was real, in a sense. I fall asleep with that thought in mind.

Morning finds us still entwined. It's warm under the blanket he must have put over us after I fell asleep. I'm glad he hasn't left my side. If this has to end – and it has to – I want to have a say in it. But however much I want to stay, I can't. Reality awaits and I must face it.

He pokes my forehead just before I walk out the door. It leaves the same burning sensation his lips left in the _genjutsu_. We part for the time being and without many words. Last night pushed us beyond words.

I half-run home. I have little less than an hour before classes start and I need to shower and grab a bite to eat. I fumble with the keys on my home's doorstep, breathless. Drop them. Pick them up and finally manage to unlock and open the door. I've only managed to take off my shoes when my mother storms out of the kitchen. Here we go.

"Sakura!"

Before I know it, her palm comes down against my cheek, hard. My breath stops in my throat, my head remains turned by the force of the blow, my skin is stinging. I am stupefied. My mother has never laid a hand on me. Never.

"Do you have any idea how worried I was?" she asks, her voice shrill and unstable. I have a hard time recognizing her. "I stayed up all night because of you! You are not a teenager anymore, Sakura, start acting like it! You were with that Uchiha criminal, weren't you?"

That does it. I turn my head, eyes narrowed, and I hiss: "Yes."

It's my turn to shock her with my defiance. She seems at a loss for words. As a teenager I didn't cause any trouble. I think she gave a sigh of relief as I transitioned gracefully into adulthood, with no incidents on record. How I've stained that pristine record. How I've disappointed her.

"You said it yourself," I go on. "I am not a teenager anymore. Do not treat me like one."

I leave her wordless in the hallway and stomp up the stairs to my room. I shut the door and lean against it with a frustrated sigh. In the mirror on the door of my dresser I see a red welt on my right cheek. I go to the bathroom to wet a small towel and press that against it. The arguments and complaints I could put up with, but not this.

Half an hour later I walk down with a backpack and a bag in tow. My mother stares in disbelief. I give her a hard look and slam the door behind me before she can say anything. I don't have any more time before classes starts, so I take my luggage with me. It earns me a few odd looks from classmates, but no one says anything. I count the minutes until I'm finished, while doing my best to focus.

In the afternoon I knock at Tsunade- _shishou_ 's office within the school. I know she has a class starting soon. I go in when prompted and drop my bags on the floor. Tsunade- _shishou_ looks surprised at first, then her brows furrow.

"I need a room in the dorm," I say, then add 'please'.

She scoffs and rubs the bridge of her nose. "Sakura," she says, "I feel like I don't know you anymore."

Somehow those words sting more than my mother's slap, but I grit my teeth and take it. I deserve it. I have changed.

"You can have a room, of course," she says, but her voice hangs heavy. "Tell me something, though. If I had refused, where would you have gone?"

I look into her eyes. "I think you already know."

"Why didn't you go there from the start?"

"I didn't want to impose," I say.

Tsunade- _shishou_ considers my answer for a few moments that pass at a snail's pace, then finally sighs. "You are such a bright young woman. But lately, Sakura, I don't understand you no matter how hard I try." She writes a slip and gives it to me. "Take this to the head of the dorm, she'll settle you in."

"Thank you."

I feel her eyes on me as I leave. I'm getting used to disappointing people. It's a bitter taste, but it doesn't poison me as it used to. Whatever she thinks of me, I told her the truth, if only in part. I don't want to impose on Itachi, yes. But I also want to prove myself than I can solve my own problems. I am determined to.

I am stronger than I used to be.


End file.
